Silent Swan

Slammin All-Body Band

The other night I enjoyed the Slammin All Body Band for the second time, and they were just as impressive and fun.  Watch for them, they are beginning to venture out of the Bay Area and may be in a town near you very soon.

The sickness: In retrospect

368 days ago I was released from the hospital after a bout with a near fatal Group A streptococcal infection of the blood.  It's rare that the strep bacteria ever makes it into the bloodstream, but when it does there is an 80% survival rate and lower chances of coming out of it without some permanent damage.   As I've been reflecting on it much the past year, I'd like to share some thoughts from the experience with the guidance of hindsight.

Fast on to life

I recently completed a 9+ day liquid fast using the Neera Super Cleanse which basically entails mixing water with fresh lemon or lime, a mixture of maple & palm syrups, and a pinch of Ceyenne pepper.  A variation of this fast is called "The Master Cleanse" which omits the Palm syrup element.

End of an era: Goodbye Steve!

I was a week away from moving to California. 
I had promised to take three people with me. 
I had no idea where we would land.
I had no idea how we would get there. 

The date was August 11th, 1999.  It was the day of the "Grand Cross" when several planets were to align and form a cross in the sky over Earth.  I was alerted to this fact by a friend I had met over the internet.  I saw a post of his on an online forum and responded thinking he might enjoy reading "Autobiography of a Yogi."  He did.  One day he was sitting by the ocean and thought of me when a "Y" shaped coral washed up at his feet.  He sent it to me as an Omen, and proceeded to tell me of the "Grand Cross," and how I should tune in as that day held great potential for fateful transitions.  I still remember having one of the most wonderful meditations that morning.  Soon after finishing my meditation, Jessica called and told me of her two friends who have a Van for sale, and not just any van by the way, a blue van.

"It's blue?  Ok I'll take it"  .. after all, Blue was my color. It all made sense.

 

                That is how Steve came into my life.   

The Mirror Mind

I spent the last week in LA with my SatGuru, sleeping, eating, meditating and socializing with him nearly non-stop.

I remember every day when I would look in the mirror I saw handsome, tanned, vigorous, strong
young man full of potential, ready to take on the world.

The day after I returned to the Bay Area, I was looking in the mirror and saw a pale-faced, balding, insecure, potentially washed up guy.

Amazing!  How could my tan leave me in one day?  but really, the mind is just a wondorous thing.   I was recently looking at this optical illusion online - we know that nothing is moving, yet our eyes and mind plays tricks on us and no matter the circles will not stop rotating.  Thankfully, I remembered this experience and didn't take too much stock in what I saw in the mirror.  In fact, most important is what I saw in the mirror of my Guru's crystal clear consciousness, which was the confident full of light version of Yaniv. 

Though I'm not trusting the mind's optical illusions so much, I'm still taking it to heart that I do have this shadow element of apparent fear and limitations, and aspect of myself that needs to be brought to light and integrated fully.  Someone asked me last night how I would describe my life up to this point in a few words.  What I came up with is that my life up to now has been a constant struggle to surrender to something greater than my limitations.

It's a mitzvah

At a friend's Jewish wedding yesterday, I was lucky to sit at the table with the main Rabbi who presided over the ceremony.  He was saying that if you feel the call to teach the Torah (the Jewish holy book), then it's a mitzvah (righteous duty) to do so.

I found that an interesting and timely thought.  I interpreted it as, if you feel a calling to share the righteous principles of harmonious living, then it's an imperative to follow that calling where it may lead you.  The trick is how to do so without too much of the 'righteous' and the 'principaling.'

Before the main ceremony began, we all sang a chant in Hebrew that meant "It is a great Mitzvah to reside in joy always."

And now, a poem:

"If you want what visible reality
can give, you're an employee

If you want the unseen world,
you're not living your truth.

Both wishes are foolish,
but you'll be forgiven for forgetting
that what you really want is
love's confusing joy."

                -- Rumi

Scenes of Recovery

I hope I'm not making too much light of things, but one thing hospitals really have going for them is that they really add rich material to your collection of bathroom humor.

My experience with Kaiser hospitals has been mostly quite positive.  The genuine care of the doctors, nurses and countless friends made most of the difference.

Tommorow, January 11th I will be released from the recovery center.  I can walk unsupported now, though my knees are probably only 60-65% healed, but improving daily.

Below are some photos taken from the last few weeks.   They are mostly all past the point of when I was really sick.

Making heads or tails of it

During these challenging times I've received a plethora of calls and well wishes.  Occasionally, out of a shared sense of suffering or pain, I would hear the sentiment of "Oh Yaniv, you poor thing" from the person to whom I was speaking.

It's interesting.   I don't feel poor at all.

I feel very lucky.

These last few weeks, I have had the opportunity to know what near complete dependance is and just how important we are in supporting each other.

I have felt deep gratitude in a way that I would not have been able to capacitate earlier.

I have come to know experientialy the value of years of meditation in keeping equanimity, clarity and positivity through extremes of pain, delirium and morphine induced depression.

I have been able to shed tears for someone other than myself, knowing what a taste of their suffering must be.

In re-learning how to walk, I am forced to focus and work hard, no shortcuts, no excuses, no way out.

I have been able to reflect on my own shortcomings when it came to others previous times of need.  I can see now how to act with greater sensitivity and care.

I've been able to share and say things to my parents for which there were no openings earlier.

I've been soaked in Love right from the beggining.

I've experienced the direct blessings of my Master from within, deepening my faith in our connection.

I've learned to appreciate the value of allopathic medicine.  It saved my life.

Near every moment of every day I've had the opportunity to value the preciousness of health and strength in this life.

I understand with greater depth the importance of the Yama's and Niyama's of Yoga, or alternatively the five Buddhist precepts of conduct.  These are not to be messed around with.

I have witnessed magnitudes of suffering I normally am numb too.  I have witnessed unbelievable generosity and kindness greater than any suffering.

I can keep listing more.  Tonight I met a man who in some way has been disabled since the mid 1950's, with unmendable broken bones.  He comes to the recovery center in his wheelchair every day because he has no one else to speak to, no where else to go.  I didn't know what to say to him, all I could do was listen, and even now it is difficult to think of him without choking up.

I am very lucky indeed.  May I remember this always. 

 

Health Matters

At one point in my life I fancied it might be nice to lay in bed all day with access to books, TV, computer and food. 

I guess we all get what we want eventually.

Have been working through some difficult health challenges the last few weeks.  Rather than recount the details, I'll paste below some e-mails I sent out.  Every one of the last few days has shown extreme imrovement in strength and mobility, so all is looking very good now.

One aspect I did not mention in my e-mails is that by the time I came into the hospital I was a day or two away from a serious life-or-death situation.  I did not find this out until a few days after arriving in the hospital.  It's not shocking as it is heart provoking. 

I also did not mention that a few days after returning from India, where I picked up the blood infection, I had a very surreal dream.  In it, I was flying back from India and time started slowing down tremendously.  Time was moving so slow, that I could experience the gaps between moments.  Intuitionally I understood myself to be experiencing reality from deeper dimensions and that the course of my life had been fundamentally altered.  Something had changed yet I could not yet see it.  Incidentally, as if to confirm the experience, during the dream I flashed several times to an extremely close friend, whom in the dream, as in real life, represented a fellow light warrior whose shared bond with me transcend any notion of time and space.  I woke up to my phone ringing.  It was the same friend whom appeared in the dream and to whom I had not spoken in a long time. 

I am interested to see where life goes from here.

Experience the Stillness of a Yogi's Mind

Hello everyone,

I am overjoyed to announce that Kriya Yoga Master and Himalayan Nath Yogi, Yogiraj Gurunath Siddhanath, will be visiting the United States and spending significant time in the Bay Area this summer.

Yogiraj will be conducting a number of free experiential workshops from July through October, as well as teaching the ancient Science of Kriya Yoga and leading two New Life Awakening Retreats.

Some information about Yogiraj along with the full Bay Area schedule is posted below.